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one  of  the  grotesque  nomenclature  of  one  of  Mr.  Dickens'  novels."  Happy 
Dickens  !  not  to  be  included  in  the  nomenclature.  Whether  poor  Pike  (who  is 
further  overwhelmed  by  a  villainous  and  threadbare  pun)  can  stand  up  beneath 
the  weight  of  this  withering  sneer,  or  whether  the  unfortunate  Fogg  and  Judd 
will  be  able  to  survive  the  crushing  attack,  which  almost  equals  the  thunderbolt 
hurled  at  the  devoted  head  of  the  much-abused  Dr.  Fell, 

"  I  do  not  like  you,  Doctor  Fell — 

The  reason  why  I  cannot  tell ;  » 

But  this  I  know,  and  know  right  well, 
I  do  not  like  you,  Doctor  Fell!" 

it  is  impossible,  at  present,  to  determine,  but  this  much  is  certain,  that  if  they 
are  not  crushed  and  pulverized,  they  must  be  made  of  sterner  stuff'  than  appeared 
probable  in  the  calculations  of  the  eminent  professor  of  "  genuine  and  rational 
loyalty." 

As  this  eloquent  commentator  inveighs  against  the  contamination  of  vulgar 
names,  he  recalls  to  vigorous  recollection  his  illustrious  prototype,  and  we  see 
vividly  realized  the  fiery  Hotspur's  indignant  description  of  a  dancing  dandy. 
The  creation  of  the  poet's  fancy  glides  from  the  page  of  the  immortal  tome,  and 
moves  with  languid  animation  before  us.  It  is  difficult  to  decide  whether  the 
dandy  or  the  commentator  is  most  aptly  delineated  by  the  poet,  when  he  says  : 

"  'Twixt  his  finger  and  his  thumb  he  held 
A  pouncet  box,  which  ever  and  anon  he 
Gave  his  nose,  and  took  't  way  again  ;• ' 

but  the  strongest  point  of  resemblance  between  the  characters  would  probably  be 
upon  the  battle-field — the  victory  supposed  to  be  won  by  the  Union  troops,  and 
loyal  soldiers — with  solemn  tread  removing  the  honored  dead  from  i(  the  field  of 
their  fame  fresh  and  gory" — here  the  musical  voice  of  our  pamphleteer  becomes 
discordant,  as  he  shrilly  calls  them 

"  Untaught  knaves,  unmannerly 

To  bring  a  slovenly,  unhandsome  corse 

Betwixt  the  wind  and  his  nobility." 

HE  MISSTATES  FACTS. 

But  let  the  poetry  pass,  while  we  show  that  this  fastidious  Addisonian  is  mis- 
taken as  to  facts,  of  course  not  wilfully,  but  grossly. 

In  the  first  place,  our  diplomatic  representatives  are  not  il  exclusively"  from 
the  North,  as  can  be  attested  by  Mr.  Cassius  M.  Clay,  of  Kentucky,  now  Minis- 
ter to  Russia.  It  would  have  been  generous  if,  instead  of,  by  inuendo  and  as- 
sertion, seeking  to  create  and  foment  sectional  jealousies,  our  immaculate  loyalist 
had  given  expression  to  the  fact  that  every  Southern  State,  not  in  rebellion,  has 
a  representative  either  in  the  Cabinet  of  the  President,  or  at  a  foreign  Court ; 
but  generosity  can  hardly  be  expected  under  the  peculiar  circumstances  of  the 


present  case,  especially  when  we  consider  that  justice,  and  nothing  less,  is  the 
sole  object  of  the  pamphlet. 

The  idea  of  negotiation  on  the  subject  of  privateering  is  so  strangely  offensive 
to  the  patriotism  of  our  adept  in  State  policy  that  he  discovers  in  it  "an  offer  to 
surrender  unconditionally  a  part  of  the  war-making  power  recognized  in  the 
Constitution/'  That  those  are  most  blind  who  will  not  see  is  a  maxim  too  old  to 
be  disputed;  and  blind  indeed  must  that  statesman  be  who  cannot  perceive  that 
very  important  conditions  were  involved  in  that  proposition. 

Can  it  be  possible  that  "  genuine  and  rational  loyalty"  would  descend  to  mis- 
representation— that  it  would  give  license  to  rebel  forces,  or  encourage  rebellion 
by  suggesting  causes  of  war  with  foreign  Powers  ?  What  motive  could  have 
prompted  the  wording  of  such  sentences  as  "  fugitives  of  English  and  European 
justice  have  been  elevated  over  the  heads  of  native-born  citizens  to  high  mili- 
tary positions ;"  and,  in  alluding  to  Mr.  Muir's  arrest,  (which,  with  qualification, 
is  admitted  to  have  been  just,)  "It  at  once  destroyed  confidence  in  American 
law,  and,  in  doing  so,  fatally  wounded  American  credit."  Surely  no  motive 
could  have  manifested  itself  in  the  penning  of  these  passages,  save  the  desire  to 
do  simple  justice  to  all  men;  for  does  not  the  writer  quote  from  an  English  par- 
liamentary critic  the  following  opinion  in  reference  to  our  country :  "  There  is 
not  a  security  that  was  established  for  liberty  of  speech,  writing,  or  motion, 
which  is  not  swept  away,"  and  then,  of  his  own  free  will,  magnanimously  say 

•;  this  is  rather  overstated." 

...•>Or"K 

HK  IS  DISPOSED  TO  ADMIRE  MISTER  DAVIS. 

It  may,  at  some  future  time,  be  gratifying  to  Jefferson  Davis  to  know  that, 
while  our  princely  diplomat  objects  to  "the  bungling  rhetoric"  of  the  Secretary 
of  State,  and  to  the  President's  "  homely  style,  through  which  a  meaning  strug- 
gles for  expression,"  he  can,  with  a  degree  of  acquiescence,  if  not  of  approba- 
tion, refer  to  "  the  vigorous  language  of  Mr.  Davis."  Yet  this  exquisite  dis- 
crimination will  never  be  properly  appreciated ;  not  while  unqualified  loyalty 
holds  its  court  in  the  hearts  of  our  citizens,  or  the  muse  of  history  remains  unde- 
filed  by  treason. 

HK  GROWS    ].. \rmiYMOSK  AND  PERORATES  AMID  THE  SILVERY  CADENCES 

OF  "EFT  HAN  ASIA." 

After  dropping  tears  over  "  the  sad  affair  of  the  Trwf"  concerning  which 
he  has  "  neither  space  nor  heart  to  speak,"  (and  then  proceeds  to  find  both  space 
und  heart,)  our  comprehensive  diplomat  concludes  his  edifying,  though  some- 
what prolix  pamphlet,  with  a  poetical  peroration,  melting  to  the  music  of 
'.NvV</'  and  metaphorically  expiring  amidst  the  concord  of  sweet  sounds. 


BANCROFT 
LIBRARY 

THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 


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C->X/£ 


•ANCROrl 


TO  THE  READER. 


It  may  appear  to  many  persons  of  intelligence,  that  the  writer  of  the  following  pages 
is  under  some  obligation  to  offer  a  double  apology — one  to  his  readers,  for  writing  at. 
all ;  and  another  to  himself,  for  attacking  such  small  game  as  the  pamphlet  herein  criti- 
cised, or  the  author  of  that  pamphlet.  Notwithstanding  the  plausibility  of  the  sugges- 
tion, the  writer  disdains  to  tender  either  apology,  for  the  reason  that  individuals  other- 
wise insignificant  frequently  are  made  important  by  circumstances  with  which  they 
connect  themselves,  or  by  objects  they  seek  to  accomplish ;  and  in  order  to  disclose  im- 
pure motives,  and  frustrate  sinister  designs,  it  may  become  a  solemn,  though  unpleasant, 
duty,  to  risk  the  charge  of  being  tedious,  or  the  reproach  of  magnifying  trifles. 

Many  men,  hopeless  of  honest  fame,  content  themselves  with  a  struggle  for  notoriety. 
They  read  exultingly  the  story  of  Erostratus,  and  satisfy  their  morbid  ambition  that  it  is 

quite  as  pleasant  to  be 

'•  The  aspiring  youth  that  fired  the  Ephesian  dome,'' 
as  the  unremembered 

'•  Pious  fool  who  built  it." 

Such  is,  in  part,  the  motive  operating  with  some  of  those  whose  sacrilegious  hands 
have  been  raised  against  our  Temple  of  National  and  Constitutional  Liberty,  and  such 
men  do  not  scruple  to  act  either  the  part  of  the  armed  ruffian,  or  that  of  the  cowardly 
incendiary. 

All  treason  is  not  avowed  in  words,  though  it  may  be  the  more  dangerous  by  pretend- 
ing to  speak  with  the  tongue  of  loyalty,  and  assuming  the  garb  of  purity,  and  therefore 
it  is  as  much  the  duty  of  patriotism  to  unmask  the  hypocrite,  as  it  is  to  confront  the  traitor 
who  may  be  arrayed  in  arms  upon  the  battle  field: 

"  In  the  great  hand  of  God  I  stand,  aud  thence 
Against  the  undivulged  pretence  I  fight." 


A  DIPLOMAT  ON  DIPLOMACY. 


"There's  Wisdom!" — Capt.  Cuttle. 


•   CONCERNING  THE  IDENTITY  OF  THE  DIPLOMAT,  AND  HIS    EXORDIUM. 

A  ponderous  pamphlet,  bearing  the  very  modest  title  of  "  A  Review  of  Mr. 
Seward's  Diplomacy,  by  a  Northern  man,"  has  recently  made  its  unannounced 
appearance  in  circles  political  and  literary,  and  though,  up  to  this  time,  it  has 
not  attracted  attention  adequate  to  the  industry  with  which  it  has  been  circulated, 
it  is  nevertheless  a  production  of  peculiar  merit,  and  should  not  be  allowed  to 
pass  among  "  the  things  that  were,"  until  at  least  one  effort  has  been  made  for 
its  preservation. 

There  are  cortain  indications,  about  some  of  the  references,  which  seem  to 
confer  on  Philadelphia  the  honor  of  its  incubation,  while  the  peculiarities  of 


V 


style,  added  to  other  circumstances,  not  necessary  now  to  advert  to,  leave  little 
room  to  doubt  that  the  scholarly  author  is  no  less  a  person  than  the  late  dis- 
tinguished Commissioner  to  the  most  imperial  court  of  China.  The  civilized 
world  may  hesitate  to  admit  that  China  is  the  highest  school  for  diplomacy,  but 
the  Chinese  themselves  cannot  be  supposed  to  be  skeptical  upon  the  subject,  and 
the  attitude  of  the  ex-commissioner  tends  to  add  weight  to  their  presumption. 

Diplomacy,  then,  is  the  theme,  China  the  school,  and  the  ex-commissioner  the 
expounder  !  In  order  that  patriotism  may  not  be  startled,  the  expounder  pre- 
faces his  exposition  by  an  assurance  that  he  is  actuated  solely  by  a  spirit  of 
"genuine  and  rational  loyalty."  It  was  perhaps  ^necessary  that  this  assurance 
should  be  given,  when  it  is  recollected  that  the  man  who  electrified  China  was 
one  of  the  recipients  of  the  patronage  of  James  Buchanan,  and  that  he  took  an 
early  opportunity,  on  his  return  to  his  native  land,  to  avow  his  opposition  to 
"  coercing  "  those  who  then  threatened  rebellion.  Whether  moral  forces,  alone, 
operated  on  his  mind  at  that  time,  or  visions  of  a  lordship,  earldom,  marquisate, 
or  principality,  influenced  his  action,  is  a  question  which  can  only  be  satisfac- 
torily settled  by  a  joint  council  of  phrenologists  and  metaphysicians;  sufficient 
for  us  is  the  assertion  that  now,  at  this  present  writing,  he  is  conscious  of  the 
influence  of  :<  genuine  and  rational  loyalty." 

HE  IS  PERPLKXED  AND  OFFENDED  AT  THE  PUBLICATION 
OF  STATE  PAPERS. 

u  The  correspondence  of  the  State  Department"  is  the  document  which  our 
"  loyal "  and  distinguished  fellow-countryman  places  upon  his  dissecting  table, 
but  he  does  not  immediately  annihilate  that.  His  first  criticism  does  not  touch 
the  character  of  that  correspondence,  but  is  devoted  merely  to  stately  animad- 
version on  the  fact  of  publication.  The  writer  then  proceeds  to  give  instances 
of  the  damaging  character  of  the  publication  of  certain  letters  ;  which  damag- 
ing character  consists  in  the  fact  that  the  Secretary  of  State  authorizes  the  print- 
ing of  letters,  which,  at  the  time  they  were  written,  (as  he  intimates  to  the 
minister  addressed,)  were  not  intended  to  be  made  public.  Now,  this  astute 
negotiator  and  hypercritical  critic  might  have  learned,  even  in  China,  that  the 
publication  of  diplomatic  correspondence  may  be  highly  improper  at  one  period 
of  time,  and  eminently  proper  at  another.  It  may,  for  instance,  be  imprudent 
to-day  to  say  that  "  our  supplies  of  arms  are  running  low."  but  if,  in  a  month 
hence,  we  voluntarily  publish  the  correspondence,  it  is  tolerably  good  evidence, 
to  candid  minds,  that  our  stock  of  arms  has  been  satisfactorily  increased  ;  a  piece 
of  information  unostentatiously  furnished,  and  which  must  be  highly  gratifying, 
as  well  to  the  spirit  of  "  genuine  and  rational  loyalty  "  of  our  pamphleteer,  as  to 
the  irrational  leaders  and  abettors  of  the  most  unholy  and  causeless  rebellion  the 
world  has  ever  known. 


HE  THINKS  IT   UNDIGNIFIED  TO  PLACE  TRAITORS  UNDER  SURVEILLANCE. 

Another  circumstance,  which  seems  to  offend  the  moral  sensibility  of  this 
most  conscientious  of  diplomatic  critics,  and  most  genuine  of  loyal  citizens,  is 
the  fact  that  our  minister  to  England  furnished  his  department  with  information 
which  enabled  it  to  put  certain  traitors  under  surveillance.  The  following- 
passage,  from  a  letter  to  Mr.  Adams,  is  unctuously  selected  for  reproba- 
tion, and  prefaced  by  the  most  profound  historical  references,  and  most  felicitous 
and  severe  sarcasms  :  k"  I  have  great  pleasure  in  saying  that  the  information  we 
receive  from  you  concerning  them  is  often  very  valuable,  and  enables  us  to  pat 
our  ou'it  authorities  here  in  a-way  of  vigilant  surveillance,  which  promises  good 
results."  Now.  if  this  most  ingenious  pamphleteer  and  profound  diplomat  had 
not  conclusively  established,  by  his  own  unsupported  assertion,  an  unblemished 
character  for  u  genuine  and  rational  loyalty,"  unsophisticated  citizens  might  be 
disposed  to  think  him  slightly  sympathetic  with  the  Southern  traitors ;  as  most 
of  the  objections  which  he  makes  would  be  vigorously  urged  by  Davis.  Mason, 
Slidell,  Benjamin,  or  Floyd;  and  it  is  not  at  all  unlikely — if  the  most  magnifi- 
cent and  grandiloquent  Jefferson  Davis  should  ever  conquer  the  universe,  or 
subdue  St.  Domingo — that  the  fluent  writer  of  this  very  logical  and  loyal  pam- 
phlet will  receive  the  honor  of  knighthood  (the  Golden  Fleece,  we  would  suggest) 
from  his  august  hand,  and  merit,  moreover,  a  further  induction  to  the  Order  of 
the  Bath! 

THE  DIPLOMAT'S  ANTECEDENTS. 

The  supposed  writer  of  this  elaborate  tract  has  hitherto  had,  if  not  a  repu- 
tation for  the  most  exalted  integrity,  at  least  the  reputation  of  being  a  respect- 
able and  even  an  able  lawyer  j  but,  in  his  recent  effort,  he  falls  im- 
measurably, and,  in  following  his  sinuous  tracks  through  the  bye-ways 
of  verbal  criticism,  there  can  be  observed  nothing  more  edifying  than  the 
ingenuity  of  a  detective  policeman  or  the  subtlety  of  a  Tombs  attorney.  While 
accompanying  the  critic,  the  fair-minded  reader  cannot  avoid  pausing  to  inquire 
concerning  his  previous  history,  and  can  only  have  a  partial  solution  to  his  doubts 
by  the  information  that  the  "  rational  loyalty,"  which  pervades  every  line  of  the 
pamphlet,  once  illumined  the  regions  of  a  Court  of  Quarter  Sessions,  and 
grew  in  strength  while  prosecuting  cases  of  petty  larceny. 

HOW  HE  PATRONISES  THE  PRESIDENT. 

The  patriotic  reader,  during  his  journey  with  our  diplomatic  Mentor,  will  at 
least  have  the  gratification  of  appreciating  the  condescension  with  which  the 
President  of  the  United  States  is  patronized.  Here,  for  instance,  is  a  paragraph 
which  could  have  been  dictated  by  nothing  short  of  "  genuine  and  rational 
loyalty;"  it  is  so  well  calculated  to  insure  harmony  among  ourselves,  and  to  at- 
tract respect,  if  not  awe,  from  the  nations  of  the  world  !  But  let  the  author 


speak  for  himself.  This  is  his  language  :  "  If  we  had  to  choose,  we  much  pre- 
fer the  homely,  honest  style  of  the  President,  no  doubt  characteristic  of  the  man 
and  of  his  social  meridian,  through  which  a  meaning  struggles  for  expression, 
to  the  ambitious,  affected,  bungling  rhetoric  of  the  Secretary." 

Some  men  are  silly  enough  to  imagine  that,  by  attempting  criticism,  they  rise 
to  any  eminence  occupied  by  the  object  or  person  criticised,  and  our  pamphleteer 
has  manifestly  fallen  into  a  delusion.  He  forgets  the  "  peevish  fool  of  Crete, 
that  taught  his  son  the  office  of  a  fowl,"  and  also  forgets  that,  "  for  all  his  wings, 
the  fool  was  drowned."  Still,  we  have  reason  to  be  thankful  to  him,  for  though 
the  Secretary  is  decidedly  snubbed,  our  honest  President  is  ostentatiously  pa- 
tronized, and  the  graphic  style  of  "  genuine  and  rational  loyalty"  almost  enables 
us  to  witness  our  Chief  Magistrate's  thoughts  "  struggling  for  expression  !" 
Surely,  if  Mr.  Lincoln's  time  was  not  engrossed  by  matters  of  importance,  he 
would  patiently  peruse  this  pamphlet,  and  be  filled  with  illimitable  gratitude  for 
condescension  from  so  pure  and  magnificent  a  source ;  for  be  it  understood  that 
the  President  never  had  a  grandfather  who  tried  to  sell  his  country,  and  then 
claimed  to  be  a  patriot  because  he  could  not  get  his  price,  or  from  fear  of  a  dis- 
covery while  huckstering  about  the  trifle;  nor  did  his  father  ever  violate  a 
sacred  trust,  moral  or  financial  j  neither  did  he  himself,  ever — just  preceding  an 
election — transmit  money  to  unscrupulous  politicians  of  a  remote  county,  with 
the  significant  injunction  that  "  Lehigh  must  do  better  !" 

SPECULATIONS  CONCERNING  THE  DIPLOMAT'S  ANCESTRY. 

Now,  who  the  father,  grandfather,  or  great  grandfather  of  our  diplomat — who 
facetiously  styles  himself  "  a  Northern  man  " — may  be,  or  may  have  been,  we 
have  no  means  of  knowing  with  certainty ;  but,  nevertheless,  there   must  be  a 
pregnant  suspicion  in  every  mind,  which  enjoys  the  happy  privilege  of  perusing 
this  paragon  of  pamphlets,  that  the  writer  was  born  to  greatness  : 
"  Upon  what  meat  doth  this  our  Csesar  feed 
That  he  is  grown  so  great  ?" 

indignantly  inquires  the  crafty  Cassius ;  but  the  craft  would  have  been  lost  had 
Caesar  been  but  half  so  stately  a  personage  as  our  pamphleteer.  He  evidently 
owes  no  part  of  his  social  status  to  mere  diet,  for,  without  hesitation,  he  would 
direct  the  pompous  Malvolio  to  place  him  in  the  category  of  those  who  are 
"born  great."  Some  heads  of  distinguished  houses  think  themselves  entitled  to 
especial  reverence  because,  forsooth,  an  apocryphal  and  bull-headed  ancestor 
crossed  the  channel  with  the  Conqueror  j  others  plume  their  vanity  with  the 
thought  that  they  can  trace  genealogical  relationship  to  Tiberius.  Nero,  Caligula, 
Domitian,  or  Elagabalus ;  but,  to  the  man  of  u  genuine  and  rational  loyalty," 
these  are  mere  mushroom  references,  for  his  ancestry  must  certainly  have  flour- 
ished ere  Phoenicia  was  known,  or  Tyre  founded.  Like  the  honest  Milesian, 
one  of  his  more  recent  ancestors  must  have  been  an  eye  witness  to  the  deluge, 


and  sailed  in  a  boat  of  his  own  on  that  memorable  occasion.  Nothing  less  than 
this  degree  of  antiquity  can  possibly  justify  the  amount  of  self-coinplacency  in- 
dulged in  by  the  candid  author  of  this  sixty-paged  pamphlet  •  and  even  amply 
furnished  with  documentary  evidence  to  prove  that  his  lineal  predecessor  out- 
sailed old  Noah,  it  may  not  be  inappropriate  to  suggest  that  he  should  always 
keep  in  remembrance  an  old,  but  most  veracious  couplet : 

"  What  can  ennoble  fools  or  cowards  ? 
•      Not  all  the  blood  of  all  the  Howards." 

A   REMARKABLE  COINCIDENCE. 

Notwithstanding  that  it  is  impossible  to  question  the  "  loyalty  "  and  veracity 
of  this  eminent  scribe,  (the  malignant  will  be  disposed  to  add,  "  and  Pharisee/' 
but  we  protest  against  the  interpolation,)  it  is  remarkable  how  very  like  he 
writes  to  one  whose  sole  object  might  be  to  give  hope  to  treason,  and  discourage- 
ment to  patriotism.  All  facts  seem  to  be  perverted  to  this  end,  and  where  facts 
are  deficient,  imagination  is  not  slow  to  supply  their  place ;  yet  this  coincidence 
must  be  accidental,  or  perhaps  it  is  the  result  of  a  mind  naturally  devious,  or  of 
a  disposition  corrupted  in  its  formation  ;  for  does  he  not  himself  say  that  he  is 
loyal,  "  rationally  and  genuinely  "  loyal,  and  is  he  not  Li  an  honorable  man !" 

*THE  DIPLOMAT  ABHORS  PLEBEIAN  NAMES. 

Among  the  aristocracies  of  Europe  and  Asia,  individuals  are  to  be  found  who 
entertain  peculiar  notions  as  to  persons,  and  unconquerable  prejudice  upon  the 
subject  of  certain  names,  as  being  indicative  of  "a  social  meridian"  utterly  in- 
consistent with  proper  refinement,  and  entirely  incompatible  for  association  with 
families  that  float  easily  down  the  tide  of  time,  bringing  with  them  monuments 
of  epochs  far  anterior  to  the  flood.  The  plebeian  names  of  some  of  our  foreign 
envoys  are  peculiarly  offensive  to  the  acute  sensibilities  of  our  diplomatic  in- 
structor. His  aristocratic  nose  elevates  itself  with  ineffable  scorn,  as  he  declaims 
against  the  appointment  of  "  a  crowd  of  obscure  and  untried  men  from  the 
North  exclusively,  whose  very  names  (the  Pikes,  and  Foggs,  and  Judds')  remind 


*We  would  recommend  to  the  perusal  of  our  Diplomat,  (when  he  can  find  relaxation 
from  the  loftier  duties  of  verbal  criticism,  and  the  dissemination  of  "  rational  and  genu- 
ine loyalty,"  as  he  understands  it,)  Shakspeare's  beautiful  play  of  "  Romeo  and  Juliet," 
especially  the  passage  where  the  fair  heroine  fondly  and  truthfully  exclaims : 

"What's  in  a  name?  that  which  we  call  arose, 
By  an}'  other  name  would  smell  as  sweet;" 

and  we  beg  to  make  a  feeble  effort  to  impress  upon  his  towering  intellect  the  fact,  that  it 
is  not  indispensable,  in  order  to  make  a  man  honest,  noble,  or  wise,  that  he  should  be 
called  Cholmondoley,  Esterhazy,  Whiskerandos,  or  Chrononhotonthologus,  any  more 
than  it  necessarily  makes  a  man  an  ignoramus  and  a,  snob  if  he  has  unfortunately  in- 
herited the  monosyllabic  name  of  Pike,  or  Fogg,  or  Judd  ;  or  even  the  equally  brief 
patronymic  of  Wright  or  Reed. 


one  of  the  grotesque  nomenclature  of  one  of  Mr.  Dickens'  novels."  Happy 
Dickens  !  not  to  be  included  in  the  nomenclature.  Whether  poor  Pike  (who  is 
further  overwhelmed  by  a  villainous  and  threadbare  pun)  can  stand  up  beneath 
the  weight  of  this  withering  sneer,  or  whether  the  unfortunate  Fogg  and  Judd 
will  be  able  to  survive  the  crushing  attack,  which  almost  equals  the  thunderbolt 
hurled  at  the  devoted  head  of  the  much-abused  Dr.  Fell, 

"  I  do  not  like  you,  Doctor  Fell — 

The  reason  why  I  cannot  tell ;  »• 

But  this  I  know,  and  know  right  well, 
I  do  not  like  you,  Doctor  Fell !': 

it  is  impossible,  at  present,  to  determine,  but  this  much  is  certain,  that  if  they 
are  not  crushed  and  pulverized,  they  must  be  made  of  sterner  stuff'  than  appeared 
probable  in  the  calculations  of  the  eminent  professor  of  "  genuine  and  rational 
loyalty." 

As  this  eloquent  commentator  inveighs  against  the  contamination  of  vulgar 
names,  he  recalls  to  vigorous  recollection  his  illustrious  prototype,  and  we  see 
vividly  realized  the  fiery  Hotspur's  indignant  description  of  a  dancing  dandy. 
The  creation  of  the  poet's  fancy  glides  from  the  page  of  the  immortal  tome,  and 
moves  with  languid  animation  before  us.  It  is  difficult  to  decide  whether  the 
dandy  or  the  commentator  is  most  aptly  delineated  by  the  poet,  when  he  says  : 

"  'Twixt  his  finger  and  his  thumb  he  held 
A  pouncet  box,  which  ever  and  anon  he 
Gave  his  nose,  and  took  't  way  again  ;'' 

but  the  strongest  point  of  resemblance  between  the  characters  would  probably  be 
upon  the  battle-field — the  victory  supposed  to  be  won  by  the  Union  troops,  and 
loyal  soldiers — with  solemn  tread  removing  the  honored  dead  from  "  the  field  of 
their  fame  fresh  and  gory" — here  the  musical  voice  of  our  pamphleteer  becomes 
discordant,  as  he  shrilly  calls  them 

"  Untaught  knaves,  unmannerly 
To  bring  a  slovenly,  unhandsome  corse 
Betwixt  the  wind  and  his  nobility." 

HE  MISSTATES  FACTS. 

But  let  the  poetry  pass,  while  we  show  that  this  fastidious  Addisonian  is  mis- 
taken as  to  facts,  of  course  not  wilfully.,  but  grossly. 

In  the  first  place,  our  diplomatic  representatives  are  not  -(  exclusively"  from 
the  North,  as  can  be  attested  by  Mr.  Cassius  M.  Clay,  of  Kentucky,  now  Minis- 
ter to  Russia.  It  would  have  been  generous  if,  instead  of,  by  inuendo  and  as- 
sertion, seeking  to  create  and  foment  sectional  jealousies,  our  immaculate  loyalist 
had  given  expression  to  the  fact  that  every  Southern  State,  not  in  rebellion,  has 
a  representative  either  in  the  Cabinet  of  the  President,  or  at  a  foreign  Court ; 
but  generosity  can  hardly  be  expected  under  the  peculiar  circumstances  of  the 


present  case,  especially  when  we  consider  that  justice,  and  nothing  less,  is  the 
sole  object  of  the  pamphlet. 

The  idea  of  negotiation  on  the  subject  of  privateering  is  so  strangely  offensive 
to  the  patriotism  of  our  adept  in  State  policy  that  he  discovers  in  it  "an  offer  to 
surrender  unconditionally  a  part  of  the  war-making  power  recognized  in  the 
Constitution."  That  those  arc  most  blind  who  will  not  see  is  a  maxim  too  old  to 
be  disputed;  and  blind  indeed  must  that  statesman  be  who  cannot  perceive  that 
very  important  conditions  were  involved  in  that  proposition. 

Can  it  be  possible  that  "  genuine  and  rational  loyalty"  would  descend  to  mis- 
representation— that  it  would  give  license  to  rebel  forces,  or  encourage  rebellion 
by  suggesting  causes  of  war  with  foreign  Powers  ?  What  motive  could  have 
prompted  the  wording  of  such  sentences  as  "  fugitives  of  English  and  European 
justice  have  been  elevated  over  the  heads  of  native-born  citizens  to  high  mili- 
tary positions ;"  and,  in  alluding  to  Mr.  Muir's  arrest,  (which,  with  qualification, 
is  admitted  to  have  been  just,)  "It  at  once  destroyed  confidence  in  American 
law,  and,  in  doing  so,  fatally  wounded  American  credit."  Surely  no  motive 
could  have  manifested  itself  in  the  penning  of  these  passages,  save  the  desire  to 
do  simple  justice  to  all  men;  for  does  not  the  writer  quote  from  an  English  par- 
liamentary critic  the  following  opinion  in  reference  to  our  country :  "  There  is 
not  a  security  that  was  established  for  liberty  of  speech,  writing,  or  motion, 
which  is  not  swept  away,"  and  then,  of  his  own  free  will,  magnanimously  say 

•'  this  is  rtitJicr  overstated." 

. 

HE  IS  DISPOSED  TO  ADMIRE  MISTER  DAVIS. 

It  may,  at  some  future  time,  be  gratifying  to  Jefferson  Davis  to  know  that, 
while  our  princely  diplomat  objects  to  "the  bungling  rhetoric"  of  the  Secretary 
of  State,  and  to  the  President's  "  homely  style,  through  which  a  meaning  strug- 
gles for  expression,"  he  can,  with  a  degree  of  acquiescence,  if  not  of  approba- 
tion, refer  to  "the  vigorous  language  of  Mr.  Davis."  Yet  this  exquisite  dis- 
crimination will  never  be  properly  appreciated ;  not  while  unqualified  loyalty 
holds  its  court  in  the  hearts  of  our  citizens,  or  the  muse  of  history  remains  unde- 
filed  by  treason. 

HE  GROWS   1.. \riIUY.MOSE  AND  PERORATES  AMID  THE  SILVERY  CADENCES 

OF  "EFT  HAN  ASIA." 

After  dropping  tears  over  "  the  sad  affair  of  the  Trent"  concerning  which 
he  has  "  neither  space  nor  heart  to  speak,"  (and  then  proceeds  to  find  both  space 
und  heart,)  our  comprehensive  diplomat  concludes  his  edifying,  though  some- 
what prolix  pamphlet,  with  a  poetical  peroration,  melting  to  the  music  of 
"  KiifJmti'isi'ti.,"  and  metaphorically  expiring  amidst  the  concord  of  sweet  sounds. 


WHAT  HE  SHOULD  HAVE  BEEN,  AND  WHAT  HE  WOULD  HAVE   DOXK. 

Our  author  (we  will  call  him  author,  because  a  man  who  writes  a  pamphlet  of 
sixty  pages — and  such  a  pamphlet ! — deserves  no  less)  has  indubitably  been 
neglected  by  his  countrymen.  How  differently  might  we  have  been  situated  to- 
day, had  he  been  placed  at  the  head  of  the  State  Department !  His  natural 
acumen  and  undoubted  patriotism,  sharpened  by  an  extended  police  practice, 
and  by  a  large  store  of  Celestial  experience,  would  have  ended  the  war  ere  it 
had  commenced ;  for  he  would  have  contemned  coercion,  compelled  commerce  to- 
forsake  the  inclement  ports  of  the  North  to  repose  in  the  soft  bosom  of  the  sun- 
ny South,  made  manufactures  nourish  on  the  banks  of  the  Pedee  and  the  mar- 
gin of  the  Black  Warrior,  and,  discovering  the  fountains  of  wisdom  in  the  brains 
of  Wigfall,  he  would  have  submitted  our  crumbling  Constitution  to  a  process  of 
reinvigoration,  such  as  would  have  occurred  to  few  other  living  minds.  All  this, 
and  more,  he  would  have  done  had  he  been  our  Premier  ;  but  even  all  this  he 
could  not  have  accomplished  without  having  wounded  the  feelings  of  Captain 
Cuttle  and  mortified  the  honest  pride  and  rational  vanity  (not  to  mention  the 
"  genuine  loyalty  ")  of  the  renowned  Bunsby. 

Fate,  however,  in  allotting  the  details  of  futurity,  omitted  to  direct  that  our 
diplomat  should  occupy  "  the  modest  little  State  Department/'  and,  therefore, 
much  that  might  have  been,  will  now  never  be.  But  let  not  this  thought  dis- 
courage the  panting  soul  of  our  too  modest  author,  for  he  is  irrevocably  dedi- 
cated to  fame,  and — not  unlike  the  poets  who  expect  to  be  remembered  when 
Shakspeare  is  forgotten — he  will  be  green  in  the  thoughts  of  his  countrymen 
when — and  only  when — the  names  of  Abraham  Lincoln  and  William  H.  Seward 
cease  to  be  honorably  identified  with  their  country's  history. 

CALIFORNIA. 


